I Choose to be HAPPY

        Although this journey has started out bumpy (and not in the baby bumpy way I would have liked), I feel at peace tonight, so this month was not our month, that doesn't take away our yearning for our Belly Fish, and one day I will be able to sit down in this very chair and share the good news of our Belly Fish on board... one day...
        Until that day, I will be grateful for all the wonderful things Hope and I have been able to share this year...  over the past several years we have overcome obstacles of much larger proportion... things have always worked out!
        Any day now we will close on our house, and begin a journey in a whole new way, and something tells me that brand new bed will be the perfect place for Belly Fish to grow...  I can be happy about things not working out, or I can be sad about things not working out, and either way they just didn't work out, so I CHOOSE to be Happy!

TAIL of our 2 Dogs

Waking up this morning just doesn't feel real... I was supposed to be waking up wondering what is going on inside my Hopies tummy and encouraging Belly Fish to swim and fight for that egg...wake up with an excitement and joy, but instead I woke up still in shock that sperm just didn't happen last night, and it is possible we may have missed another month of starting this journey...

Since I don't have any good news about Belly Fish, I will introduce you to my Babies that we DO have...Truely (black lab) and Honest (bullmastiff)

They are our life...
        Truely is a fourth of July baby and has the firecracker attitude to go with it! She is happiest sitting right on top of me, we joke and say she thinks she is a lap dog... she is my guard  dog, if someone so much as breathes on that front gate, she is up and rearing to go... makes me feel safe! She will play Catch with you for hours if you let her, and she enjoys belly rubs, momma Hope is her favorite for those...

Honest is a Capricorn like me, his birthday is Jan 7th and he will be one this year... he is also stubborn like me, but sweet as apple pie like me also ;)... He is a big puppy weighing in at 100lbs (est) and he is truly the gentle giant.... He is not a chase the ball kinda guy, he want's to play tug of war and usually his sister does a good job of playing with him... he gets tired and lays down after about 10 min of it and it is fun to watch Truely (maybe 65lbs) drag honest around on the hard wood floors... but stubborn Honest just holds on... He enjoys head rubs, and leg massages from momma Hope...

So now you know a little bit about our babies, I am sure there will be many TAILS about them through this journey...

Hello Roller Coaster...

     So after a whole month of the donor saying that he would help us out he is 45 min away and doesn't feel like making the drive... I am super sad, and Hope is still at work so I can't really talk it through with her...
     I know what you are thinking... go to him, well he is staying at his brothers, and it is just not an option... he is a "good" friend of Hopes, and I don't feel like I have the right to tell him what I really think of him, because believe me, I would not have nice things to say to him right now...
     This is a very serious and real thing to us, and for him to be too tired is just very selfish in my opinion... my mind is racing, we have a small window... what to do now, who to call, can I fix this?  We both have been so excited, and waiting for tonight... this is just such a blow to my heart... I have to get myself ready for Hope to get home, I am sure she is super bummed as well...

All I was for Christmas is my Bellyfish

      Today is the day I have been waiting for, Hope is ovulating and our donor is coming over tonight... I can not believe that tonight we could be creating our Belly Fish... our very own Miracle on Prescott Street... I find myself feeling many emotions today: Fear for the sheer reason that we could be moms this time next year! Excitement because we could be moms this time next year! But most of all I am feeling Joy, because I have found the person that I want to build  my family with... and my dreams are coming true...
     
      I am very aware that today begins a journey that will be long and hard, conception near or far, but there is no one in the world that I would rather share it with than my wife Hope. If by miracle this bellyfish takes tonight we should find out it is cooking on my Birthday Jan 4th!!! That would be the best Birthday ever for sure!

   Since today is the first day of this Baby making Blog Journey, I am going to throw some wishes out there and see how things turn out over the course of the next year or so...

1) I would love to have a baby by Christmas next year
2) I am predicting multiples (Hope is 35)  I have a gut feeling of twins!

                                                                                                                  ~Jacinda